A new adventure

It is a gorgeous day today. I went outside and just walked around my parents house for about an hour. I love it here!

It's so quiet out here in Ucon...sitting here all I can hear are birds and the sprinklers running in the fields. It looks and smells like it's going to rain, but it's looked like that every afternoon this week. I love the peaceful solitude that my parents house has to offer, and it's all about to change. Lately all I can think about is how much I'm gonna miss everything here in Idaho. My friend Shireen told me that when you make a decision about something that you know is right, it seems like things start to go perfect, enough so that you question your decision to leave. That is exactly what has happened. As soon as I made the decision to leave Idaho it seems like there have been a million reasons pop up why I should stay. I had an amazing football and basketball season. I have finally gained the trust of my coaches and athletes. I've made some great friends (even though they are high school kids.) All my brothers move back to Idaho, Shireen moves back to Idaho...geez it feels like it's getting harder and harder to follow through with my original plan. Don't worry though, I'm still going...just not as readily as I was before. I know that I've gotten too comfortable here in Idaho. Things are too easy, I'm not living to my full potential, and I know I've got to leave. Mom says it's good to leave at the top of your game, because that's how everyone will remember me. Taylor, one of my students, told me that going off to college will be the best thing for me. I'll get to be with people my own age, going through the same things I'm going through. I have to just keep telling myself that. Good thing I have this amazing support system around me! I just hope that I can function without them when I'm all the way over in Portland!

A Tribute

I was sitting here on the computer putting grades in for my classes when I realized that it's May. May.... the last month of school. Waaahhh! I honestly can't believe that I am in the last month of being a high school teacher and athletic trainer for some of the best kids in the world! I wish I could explain to everyone why I'm having such a hard time leaving these kids behind! After I graduated from school and came back to Idaho I felt so lucky to get the job at Hillcrest and Bonneville High Schools. I wasn't even looking for it, and someone comes up to me and says, "Hey would you like to be an athletic trainer?" And here I am four years later. It was like a miracle to even get a job in my major right out of school. I keep wondering if I'm making the biggest mistake of my life by leaving it. So I've been trying to justify myself by coming up with reasons why it's time to leave such a wonderful thing. The past few weeks I've done a lot of soul searching and I'd like to share a thought.
I haven't always had the greatest self-esteem when it comes to guys. I mean you try competing with a super model best friend your whole life! (Though I wouldn't trade you for anything in this entire world Allison! I love you!) Going out on my own when I went off to school helped me to find myself, but still I always felt like guys never looked at me because... well because I wasn't gorgeous. I think because of that I never really tried to talk to any of the guys I was interested in. So I come back to Idaho Falls and I'm working hard and don't really have to worry about talking to guys because lets face it, there are no guys in Idaho Falls, but I start to get to know these high school kids. I'm not worried about what they'll think of me because they're just kids. I feel comfortable enough around them to be myself, and that's exactly what I have done for four years. And you know what? Something interesting happened. All of the sudden my sports medicine classes at Hillcrest started to fill up, and kids start coming to the athletic training room just to sit and talk to me about nothing in particular. Then parents would tell me at parent-teacher conferences that their daughter loves me more than any other teacher or that they thought their son might have a little bit of a crush on me. Haha! I'm still laughing about that but, WOW! Do you have any idea what that has done for my self-esteem?! All my life I've always been the one to sit and observe because I didn't think I had anything worthwhile to offer anyone. Then four years ago I start working as a high school teacher and in the end it has been them teaching me. It wasn't until I started to teach that I realized I might be a person worth getting to know, that someone might think their life was better just because I had been apart of it. That is such an amazing feeling!!
I want all of my students and athletes at Hillcrest and Bonneville to know how much I love them and appeciate them! Thank you so much for everything you have given me these past four years. It is because of you that I'm able to have the confidence to do something I had only ever dreamed of. You will never know just how much you've helped me! I can't begin to tell you how much I will miss you! You all have truly made me a better person.