A Perfect World

Well I can hardly believe that I missed my St. Patrick's Day blog. I guess I've been a little distracted lately. It's coming to the end of another school year, and I'm trying to decide what to do for this next year. Hopefully I'll figure it out before too long.
It came out a couple of days ago that Osama bin Laden was finally captured and killed. Many people here in the USA rejoiced at the news. He has committed such terrible crimes against so many by masterminding the death of a lot of innocent people during the 9/11 attacks. I am glad that he was finally captured so he could be made to stand up for his actions. I suppose he had to pay the ultimate price by having his own life taken.
The day after his death I saw on the news pictures of US citizens celebrating, and while I was glad he could not hurt anyone else, I was also saddened. These conflicting emotions left me confused. I thought about those people who had lost their loved ones and I tried to put myself in their shoes. I did not want to feel sad because such a terrible and evil man had died. So here I was feeling confused and a little unpatriotic when I read a quote my cousin Brittany had put on Facebook.
I was overjoyed when I read the quote because it said what I could not. This life is not perfect and I understand that. In order for me to have the freedoms I enjoy, many people have had to die and I am so thankful for that, but I am not happy that it had to happen. When I see a small child crying over his dead father, it makes me sad, no matter who it is. It makes me wish that there was no reason to have wars. I wish people could set aside their differences and embrace their similarities. Unfortunately this is not a perfect world, and may not be for a long while yet, but there is always hope, and so that is what I will hang on to.

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that"

— Martin Luther King Jr.

I guess I better get this over with...

Well I've been putting off the v-day blog, because I don't have a lot to say about it. It's one of those holidays for other people. Like in church when it's time for the marriage lesson. The teacher always says something like, "For those of you who are not married, just think of other types of relationships in your life and try to apply it." Whatever...all I ever hear is, "Blah, blah, blah you're not married so this doesn't apply to you." Not that I'm complaining. Life is amazing for me right now. I do what I want, when I want. If I want to quit my job and move to a new place, I just do it. I love having the freedom that being single has given me.
Now that I've said all that, geez I wish I had a boyfriend! I have to admit, it kinda sucks that I write all these romantic little stories, and don't even know what it's like to have a boyfriend. Good thing I have a good imagination...and great friends with interesting lives :) Life sure is a crazy ride, I guess I'll just keep hanging on. I don't know where I'm going, but I have a feeling it'll be amazing!

Reminiscing

"C'mon Jenn, I'm fine. I don't have a headache or anything. I can play!" The older man standing behind me is so close I can feel his labored breathing on my neck. He hasn't left my side since I pulled the young athlete out of play. "Jennifer I think he's fine, he seems to be acting normal. We need him in there. We can win this game!" From somewhere up in the stand I hear a man yelling, "Taylor get back on that field! You're fine!" I check the boy's eyes again, methodically moving the flashlight from one eye to the other. His pupils instantly react to the bright light, a normal enough response, but the years of schooling I have recently completed scream at me to keep Taylor out of the game a little longer.
He must see the uncertainty etched across my face because he begins his desperate pleading once again. "Jenn please don't do this to me. You know me! I would tell you if I thought I couldn't play." It's true, I do know him, but I also know what this game means to him. Again from the stands I hear the frantic yelling, but this time a little closer, "Taylor, shake it off and get in the game!" I'm surprised I can hear the lone voice over the roar of the crowd. I need more time, so I think of another task. "Okay Taylor, I want you to stand on one foot, tilt your head back and close your eyes." I know it's tough for anyone to do, but I need to buy some time.
He quickly jumps to do my bidding, eager to prove himself to me. Taylor wobbles unsteadily and finally has to put his foot down. I look back at the older man, and with a defeated look he nods and steps away from me to rejoin his team. I know it's a cheap shot, but I never work well under pressure.
Taylor grabs my shoulder and turns me back around, "Let me try it again, I know I can do it if you just let me try once more." I know how useless that would be, so I ignore his question and get to work. After a few more minutes I have finally made my decision, though still I wonder if I have made the right one. I hand Taylor his helmet and then grab his face so that he will look me in the eyes. "If you start to feel light headed or nauseous you better get your butt over here and tell me." His face lights up and suddenly he grabs me and lifts me off the ground in a bear hug. "I will Jenn, I promise!" I watch him as he runs off and then I look up into the sky. I take a deep breath of the crisp night air and then shove my way past the group of burly teenagers standing around, finally reaching the front of the sideline. I look across the field and sigh, I love this time of the year.

A Connecticut Christmas Ball (Final)

Everyone moved to the ballroom after the stories were finished. The first dance was about to begin, and the ladies eagerly waited for their dance partners. Ivy scanned the floor, looking for Trey. She soon found him with Amanda, waiting for the dance begin. Ivy knew a moment of disappointment. She had hoped he would dance with her for the first dance. One of the other men from the church choir came and asked for her hand during the dance. The music began and Ivy struggled to remember the steps, but soon she was dancing easily. She watched Trey and his partner when she could. The two appeared to be having fun, too much fun. They were laughing and joking. Ivy tried to keep the jealousy at bay, but by the end of the dance, she felt as green as the emeralds in her necklace. She calmed herself by telling herself Trey would come to dance with her soon, but after twelve dances he hadn’t even glanced her way. Ivy knew because she had been watching him the whole night.

It took all of Ivy’s will power to keep from walking up to Trey and demanding him to dance with her. She watched with dismay as Trey made his way back to Amanda Baker’s side and smiled into her big blue eyes as he offered her his arm. What was going on? Why was he dancing with Amanda again when he had not even danced with Ivy once? She was so preoccupied that she kept stepping on the shoes of the unfortunate man who had asked her to dance. She was so angry at the end of the dance that she felt physically ill. She walked to a group of chairs near the wall to sit down. The man calling the dances announced the coming of the last dance. Ivy did not even care about dancing anymore; she just wanted to go home. How could she have been so stupid thinking that Trey was interested in her? He was just being friendly to a lonely woman from out of town, and she had taken it all wrong again! She breathed deeply, trying to keep the tears in that were threatening to escape at any moment.

Ivy was surprised when she saw two shiny black shoes standing in front of her. She looked up and saw Trey, looking extremely uncomfortable. “Hello Miss Ivy, would you do me the pleasure of dancing with me for the last dance?” Ivy felt as if her blood would boil away as she looked up into his face. She stood up and with every bit of control she had left she calmly looked him in the eye, and then quietly said, “Do you really think, Dr. McBride, that would be a good idea? What would Amanda Baker think? I don’t want to risk upsetting her.” Ivy spit the last sentence at him in cold fury, then turned and walked from the room, not even looking back at Trey. She found Gloria and informed her that she would be waiting in the car. She yanked on her coat and walked out into the driving snow. She was done with Trey McBride, and she was never going to think of him again.

Trey was still standing where Ivy had left him on the dance floor when the last dance ended and everyone began to make their ways to their cars. It wasn’t until his friend Caleb came and tapped him on the shoulder that Trey even moved. “Hey Trey it’s time to go.” Trey just looked at his friend, and then he smiled. “I think I did it Caleb, I don’t know how, but I did it.” He looked around and then ran for the door, “Sorry Caleb, I’ve got to go.”

The light snowfall had turned into a full blown blizzard by the time the two women made it to the road but Gloria and Ivy made it home. They took a few moments to place some presents under the tree for Christmas. Ivy could see the exhaustion on Gloria’s face. It was just after midnight, way past Gloria’s regular bedtime. Gloria began to head up the stairs to bed when she suddenly stopped, “Oh no! I forgot to check on the animals Ivy. After Dr. McBride’s story tonight I wouldn’t be able to sleep if I didn’t check on them.” She began to head down the stairs but Ivy stopped her. “Go to bed Aunt Gloria! I’ll check on them for you.” Gloria began to protest, but Ivy ignored her and pulled on her coat and opened the door. “Be careful dear! Stay close to the house!” Ivy shivered in the cold wind then called up to Gloria, “Don’t worry, I’ll be right back, just go to bed and get some rest.” She stepped out into the weather, gathering up her skirt so she wouldn’t step on it. She probably should change first, but she was getting tired and it took forever to get the stupid dress off.

The snow was blowing so bad Ivy couldn’t see a thing. She took her aunt’s advice and stayed closed to the house. Ivy finally made it to the barn and opened the door, quickly shutting it behind her. She found the light switch in the darkness and flipped it on. The animals looked at her sleepily. She walked over to Chester who was near the barn door and rubbed his graying head. “Hey there fella, how are you? Any words of wisdom for me tonight? I could sure use them about now.” Chester just nuzzled her coat, looking for something to eat. She saw a bucket on the floor and pulled out a carrot. “Here you go boy. Merry Christmas.” She patted his neck and then walked further into the barn, checking to make sure nothing was out of place. Satisfied, she was about to turn and leave when she heard a quiet voice behind her. “I was hoping you would come out here tonight.” Ivy spun around, but only found Chester. She stared at the old horse for a moment, telling herself she was crazy for thinking what she was thinking. She walked a little closer and then timidly asked, “Umm…did you say something?”

Ivy was staring at the horse so when the voice came from the door she almost jumped out of her skin. “You left in such a hurry, I didn’t get a chance to talk to you, or dance with you for that matter.” Trey stepped out of the shadows, looking out of place in the barn with his tuxedo on. Ivy let out a shaky breath, “You scared me! I didn’t know you were here.” He stepped a little closer, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” He took another step closer. She was feeling a little intimidated standing so close to him. She backed up, but ran into Chester’s stall door. Trey took another step closer; he was too far from her for his comfort. “I didn’t get to tell you how beautiful you look today.” He took another step closer, “In fact I don’t think that I’ve ever told you how beautiful you are period.” Ivy shook her head, trying to keep herself from getting lost in his deep brown eyes. “Please Trey you should go. It’s late.” She meant to sound strong and threatening, but instead she sounded hesitant and weak.

Trey took another step, this time pinning her to the stall door. “Why wouldn’t you dance with me Ivy?” Ivy suddenly remembered that she had a right to be mad at Trey McBride. She glared up at him, “Why did you dance with Amanda Baker twice?” She looked at him accusingly, but his smile just widened. “Amanda Baker has nothing to do with this, why wouldn’t you dance with me?” Ivy put her hands against Trey’s chest, trying to push him out of the way so she could leave. He didn’t budge. Frustrated, she gave up then glared at him again. “Why did you wait until the last dance to ask me?” Trey lowered his face to look into Ivy’s wide green eyes, “I wanted to save the best for last.” Ivy pushed against Trey again, “Please Dr. McBride I want to leave.”

Trey grabbed Ivy’s chin gently and brought her eyes to his. “Ivy Porter stop being so stubborn and listen to me for a moment.” Ivy yanked her chin free. “If you have something to say, say it so I can leave. She looked up at him angrily. He suddenly brought his head down and kissed her tenderly. When their lips finally parted Trey found Ivy clinging to him like a lifeline. He pulled her away so he could look into her eyes again. “I love you Ivy. I think I have loved you from the moment I saw you walking down the runway in those ridiculous shoes.” Ivy laughed as she remembered the first time she had met Trey McBride. She was sure her heart would burst with the love she felt for him now. “I love you too Trey, I must have loved you from the moment we first met, but I didn’t realize it until last night. And then when I saw you dancing with Amanda Baker I was sure you only thought of me as a friend.” Trey grabbed Ivy and hugged her to him. “My beautiful Ivy, I love you so much.” She smiled up at him then grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the barn. “Come on into the house, I owe you some hot chocolate.”

The two somehow made it to the house and stumbled inside. They stood catching their breath for a moment. Trey suddenly reached up and hit the mistletoe hanging between them. “We better not break tradition, it is Christmas you know, and the people of Harwinton are very superstitious.” Ivy kissed him and then sighed as he held her close. “I always knew that Harwinton was a special place.” Trey kissed the top of Ivy’s head and then said. “I didn’t even get to dance with the prettiest girl at the ball.” Ivy laughed and then reached into her coat and pulled out her dance card handing it Trey. “Well that wasn’t my fault.” Trey opened the small book and then beamed at Ivy. She had written his name on every line of the card. He pulled her close and brought his nose to touch her own. “We’ll just have to save this for next year’s ball.” Then he kissed her again.

A Connecticut Christmas Ball (Part 6)

Ivy woke up with red swollen eyes. She sat in bed thinking about the night before. Instead of the fight she had had with Trey, she could only think about the tender way he had held her, and the friendship that had blossomed over the last few weeks she had known him. Then she allowed herself allowed herself relive the last time she had experienced what she thought had been love, in her first year of college. Devin had become a good friend, and Ivy had fallen for him. Just when she thought their relationship was turning serious he showed up at her apartment with a short busty blonde and introduced her as his fiancée. Then he thanked her for being a good friend. Ivy had been so confused. She thought he had loved her, and then suddenly he was marrying someone else. From that day on Ivy kept her heart locked away. Men saw her as nothing but a good friend, and so to keep herself from the pain, she didn’t let anyone get close to her. She did not want to fall in love only to be rejected in the end. Ivy snuggled underneath the covers and took a moment to really think about Dr. Trey McBride. She had never been pursued before, if in fact that was what Trey was doing. Ivy thought about the way he went out of his way to be with her, the way he looked at her and talked to her. The way he had kissed her under the mistletoe, and even the way he had fought with her. She jumped out of bed and stood up. After four short weeks in Harwinton Connecticut the impossible had happened, she had fallen in love with Trey McBride.

Ivy took special care getting ready for the ball that evening, thinking of Trey and wanting to look her best. Her hair had taken two hours to curl and then pin up. A few loose curls brushed her neck and the capped sleeves on her ball gown. She had been worried about the short sleeves in the cold weather, but Peg had even thought of that. When Ivy opened up the box with her dress she found a pair of elegant white satin long gloves that covered most of her bare arms. Ivy was looking at herself in the mirror for the hundredth time when Gloria entered her room. She was glorious in her navy blue gown that complemented her silvery hair to perfection. Gloria was holding a small package in her hand, “here Ivy an early Christmas present.” Ivy refused to take the package, “no Gloria, you’ve given me so much already you don’t need to give me anything else.” Gloria shoved the package into her hands, “I meant to give these to you a long time ago, I just forgot, open it.” Ivy unwrapped it carefully and stared in shock at the heirloom jewelry in her hand. A gold necklace and matching earrings interlaid with dark emeralds. Ivy held the priceless items out to her aunt. “No Gloria, I can’t take this, it is too much!” Gloria waved her hand, “Of course you can, it was my mother’s, your grandmother. I know she would want you to have it Ivy.” Gloria reached down and took the necklace from Ivy, then gently clasped it around her neck. The length was perfect for the scooped neck on her gown. Tears shimmered in Ivy’s eyes and she stood up and hugged Gloria. “Thank you Aunt Gloria! They are gorgeous.” Gloria hugged her quickly then turned to exit the room, “now don’t start that, you’ll ruin your make-up. Let’s get going I don’t want to be late!”

Ivy felt like a princess when the man at the door announced her and Gloria at the Harwinton Christmas Ball. Trey watched as the two entered the room and made their way down the spiral staircase. Ivy took his breath away, and he found it hard to look away from. The young woman at his side brought him back to the present, “Come Dr. McBride I want to find a good spot for the Christmas stories.” Trey looked at the blonde to his side, and then back up at Ivy. He felt a twinge of regret, but Ivy had told him in no uncertain terms that she wanted him out of her life. He allowed himself one more look than held his arm out to the blonde; they made their way to the stage. Ivy looked around for Trey as she carefully walked down the stairs; she finally spotted him as he held his arm out for Amanda Baker. The blonde beauty from the church choir looked up at him with adoring eyes. Ivy hushed the alarm bells that started to go off in her mind. Trey was friendly with everyone, and he and Amanda were friends. She continued down the stairs and smiled over at Gloria.

On the stage a few of the locals stood up to tell Christmas stories and legends passed on from their own ancestors. Many of the stories she had heard before, but some were new. She was surprised when Trey stood up. “There is a legend,” he began, “that at the stroke of midnight on Christmas, all the animals in the world are given the ability to speak.” Many of the people in the audience nodded in agreement to this statement. Trey paused for a moment waiting for the crowd to quiet, then he continued, “one Christmas Eve when I was a much younger man living in at my parents’ farm in Colorado, I was assigned to check on the animals before I went to bed. Being the defiant typical teenager that I was, I purposely went to bed without checking on the animals. My father was furious. He woke me up and told me to check on the animals. I told him that I didn’t care about the stupid animals, and hoped they were all dead when I got to the barn. He just looked at me sadly for a moment then quietly said, ‘Those animals are counting on you to watch out for them, if something happened to them it would be your fault. They trust you completely to do what is right for them.’”

“I went out there grudgingly and found that one of the cows had broken out of her stall and gotten out of the barn. The doors were wide open to the freezing night air. It was well below zero outside and the poor cow was on its way to freezing to death. I spent a long time getting that cow to its feet and back in the barn. By the time I was done, I was starting to regret the way I had spoken to my father. The cow was one I had raised from a calf, and I would have been devastated if she had died. I put a blanket around her and piled extra hay in her stall, and then I turned to leave. That’s when I heard a quiet voice say, ‘Thank you Trey.’ I looked around, thinking my father had come in, but there was no one. It was late and I thought my ears were playing tricks on me. I headed for the barn door again and then I heard the same voice, ‘You saved me.’ I looked in the direction I had heard the voice, and found my cow looking at me. I felt silly but I asked, ‘Did you say something.’ She didn’t answer me, but it didn’t matter. I knew what I had heard. I decided then and there that I would devote my life to caring for animals in need. He looked sternly at everyone in the crowd, and paused for dramatic effect. “So be careful of the way you treat your animals because some Christmas they just might find you and tell you how they feel.”

A Connecticut Christmas Ball (Part 5)

The town was buzzing with talk of the upcoming ball. Ivy found that she was actually eager to see what it would be like. She and Gloria drove into town for their final dress fitting. They would be able to take the dresses home tonight, and not a moment too soon considering tomorrow was Christmas Eve, the day of the ball. The snow had been falling steadily most of the day, and Ivy was thankful for Gloria’s four wheel drive pickup truck as they made their way into town on the icy roads. Peg was eagerly awaiting the two women when they finally made it to the dress shop. “Gloria, Ivy! I was afraid the snow would keep you. Can you believe this weather? I don’t mind a good Christmas snowfall, but this is ridiculous!” Ivy and Gloria didn’t have time to answer before Peg rushed them into the fitting rooms.

Ivy’s breath caught in her throat when she saw the dazzling burgundy taffeta gown draped over a nearby chair. The fabric shimmered a deep forest green where the light caught it. Ivy touched the sleek cloth and hoped she would be able to do the dress justice. With some much needed help from Peg, Ivy soon stood in front of the dressing room mirror. Under the tight corset compressing her ribs and the miles of clothing she now wore, Ivy was certainly uncomfortable, but had to agree with Peg, the affect was stunning. Peg left a moment to help Gloria and as Ivy gazed into the mirror she found herself wondering if Trey would think she looked beautiful. She imagined him holding her tightly as he whirled her around the dance floor and a thrill of excitement ran up her spine. Almost as soon as the thought entered her mind, Ivy quickly worked to dispel the image. She didn’t want to think about Trey McBride. She was happy on her own, she didn’t need anyone else. By the time Peg came back to help her take off her gown, Ivy was back in control of her thoughts. With their dresses safely boxed up, Gloria and Ivy made their way out of the shop and back into the wintry weather.

“It’s too snowy out there Gloria, he won’t come tonight.” Back at home, Ivy had spent the evening trying to convince her aunt that Dr. McBride was smart enough to stay away during a snow storm. “But he would have called if he wasn’t going to come; he’s come every day. I hope something hasn’t happened to him.” Almost on cue there was a knock at the door, and Gloria rushed to let in a bundled up figure. Trey pulled off a few layers and then sat on the couch. “Sorry I’m a little late. It took me awhile to get here; I borrowed Dan Bower’s sleigh and horse. The wind has died down and I thought it would be a good night for a sleigh ride. Are you two up for it?” Gloria shook her head. “I think I’m going to save my strength for tomorrow night. Why don’t the two of you go and I’ll make some hot chocolate for when you get back.” Trey frowned and then looked over at Ivy and pleaded, “What do you say Ivy? I hope I didn’t bring that thing all the way over here for nothing!” Gloria grabbed Ivy’s coat from the hook by the door and threw it to her, “Of course she’ll go. She’s never ridden in a sleigh before.” Ivy shot her aunt a glare but began to put her coat on. Trey smiled to himself, and then opened the door for Ivy when she was properly wrapped up.

The sleigh was sitting right outside the door and Trey helped Ivy climb in. There was a warm woolen blanket inside and a roof to keep the snow off of them. He tucked Ivy inside then ran around to hop in. The snow drifted to the ground in massive flakes. A couple of lanterns had been rigged up to the front of the sleigh to act as headlights, bathing the area around them them in a soft glow. Trey gently slapped the reigns against the sleigh and they took off at a slow pace through the snow. The sleigh cut through the snow with ease, and soon Ivy was sitting back peacefully enjoying the silence of the night. She glanced over at Trey and found him staring back at her. She quickly looked away and then said, “Where did you learn to drive one of these things? I didn’t even know people had stuff like this anymore.” Trey gazed at Ivy, hoping to catch her eye again, “I grew up on a farm in Colorado.” This brought Ivy’s eyes to his once again. “Colorado? So far away? What brought you here?” He laughed, “Well usually people go where they can find work. It’s hard being away from family, but I can’t complain. This is beautiful country, and the people here are among the best I have ever met.” Ivy nodded in agreement, “I love it here too. When I was younger I told my parents that I was going to live in Harwinton some day. I always felt like anything was possible here.” She shook her head in dismay, “Funny how things change when you get older and wiser.” Trey looked at her, wondering what brought the hopeless look of despair to her delicate features. He hated to see her beautiful eyes clouded over with pain.

Trey brought the horse to a halt inside a small copse of trees. Ivy looked at him questioningly. “What’s the matter Trey, are we lost?” Unable to control himself, Trey engulfed Ivy protectively in his arms, then drew back and gently caressed her face. “Ivy anything is possible. You should never give up on your dreams, even if they seem childish or impossible.” Ivy wanted nothing more than to believe Trey, sitting like this in his strong arms she almost did, but then the past caught up with her and she pushed him away. “What gives you the right to tell me what is possible? You don’t know anything about it! I’m perfectly happy the way I am.” Now Trey was mad, “Ivy Porter how could you be happy when you refuse to let anyone get through that icy covering you keep around yourself! You are lonely and need someone to care about you besides yourself. Why can’t you see that? Why won’t you let me in?” Ivy stared at him coldly, “You’ve known me for what…a few weeks, and now you’re an expert on what I need? I’m a big girl; I can take care of myself. Now if you would please take me home Dr. McBride, I am tired and would rather not talk to you anymore.” Trey took up the reigns and cracked them against the sleigh, startling the poor horse into a nervous gallop. “As you wish your highness,” he growled, bringing the horse around to head for the farmhouse.

They made the return trip in frustrated silence. As soon as Trey stopped the horse in front of Gloria’s house Ivy jumped out of the sleigh and ran inside. Gloria looked up to see Ivy sprint up the stairs to her bedroom where she launched herself at the bed and began to cry. Gloria went to the window and saw Trey quickly retreating into the darkness. She sat back down on the couch, smiled and then said, “Nice work Dr. McBride; she’s all yours.”