A new adventure

It is a gorgeous day today. I went outside and just walked around my parents house for about an hour. I love it here!

It's so quiet out here in Ucon...sitting here all I can hear are birds and the sprinklers running in the fields. It looks and smells like it's going to rain, but it's looked like that every afternoon this week. I love the peaceful solitude that my parents house has to offer, and it's all about to change. Lately all I can think about is how much I'm gonna miss everything here in Idaho. My friend Shireen told me that when you make a decision about something that you know is right, it seems like things start to go perfect, enough so that you question your decision to leave. That is exactly what has happened. As soon as I made the decision to leave Idaho it seems like there have been a million reasons pop up why I should stay. I had an amazing football and basketball season. I have finally gained the trust of my coaches and athletes. I've made some great friends (even though they are high school kids.) All my brothers move back to Idaho, Shireen moves back to Idaho...geez it feels like it's getting harder and harder to follow through with my original plan. Don't worry though, I'm still going...just not as readily as I was before. I know that I've gotten too comfortable here in Idaho. Things are too easy, I'm not living to my full potential, and I know I've got to leave. Mom says it's good to leave at the top of your game, because that's how everyone will remember me. Taylor, one of my students, told me that going off to college will be the best thing for me. I'll get to be with people my own age, going through the same things I'm going through. I have to just keep telling myself that. Good thing I have this amazing support system around me! I just hope that I can function without them when I'm all the way over in Portland!

A Tribute

I was sitting here on the computer putting grades in for my classes when I realized that it's May. May.... the last month of school. Waaahhh! I honestly can't believe that I am in the last month of being a high school teacher and athletic trainer for some of the best kids in the world! I wish I could explain to everyone why I'm having such a hard time leaving these kids behind! After I graduated from school and came back to Idaho I felt so lucky to get the job at Hillcrest and Bonneville High Schools. I wasn't even looking for it, and someone comes up to me and says, "Hey would you like to be an athletic trainer?" And here I am four years later. It was like a miracle to even get a job in my major right out of school. I keep wondering if I'm making the biggest mistake of my life by leaving it. So I've been trying to justify myself by coming up with reasons why it's time to leave such a wonderful thing. The past few weeks I've done a lot of soul searching and I'd like to share a thought.
I haven't always had the greatest self-esteem when it comes to guys. I mean you try competing with a super model best friend your whole life! (Though I wouldn't trade you for anything in this entire world Allison! I love you!) Going out on my own when I went off to school helped me to find myself, but still I always felt like guys never looked at me because... well because I wasn't gorgeous. I think because of that I never really tried to talk to any of the guys I was interested in. So I come back to Idaho Falls and I'm working hard and don't really have to worry about talking to guys because lets face it, there are no guys in Idaho Falls, but I start to get to know these high school kids. I'm not worried about what they'll think of me because they're just kids. I feel comfortable enough around them to be myself, and that's exactly what I have done for four years. And you know what? Something interesting happened. All of the sudden my sports medicine classes at Hillcrest started to fill up, and kids start coming to the athletic training room just to sit and talk to me about nothing in particular. Then parents would tell me at parent-teacher conferences that their daughter loves me more than any other teacher or that they thought their son might have a little bit of a crush on me. Haha! I'm still laughing about that but, WOW! Do you have any idea what that has done for my self-esteem?! All my life I've always been the one to sit and observe because I didn't think I had anything worthwhile to offer anyone. Then four years ago I start working as a high school teacher and in the end it has been them teaching me. It wasn't until I started to teach that I realized I might be a person worth getting to know, that someone might think their life was better just because I had been apart of it. That is such an amazing feeling!!
I want all of my students and athletes at Hillcrest and Bonneville to know how much I love them and appeciate them! Thank you so much for everything you have given me these past four years. It is because of you that I'm able to have the confidence to do something I had only ever dreamed of. You will never know just how much you've helped me! I can't begin to tell you how much I will miss you! You all have truly made me a better person.

Spring Break Revelation

I wanted to go to Portland for spring break this year. Not that Portland is the most exciting place in the world at spring break, but I'm starting to feel anxious about getting things started for the next chapter of my life. As it ended up I wasn't able to go. How boring to have to spend spring break at home doing nothing! So I took a road trip. Saturday afternoon I packed up my car, said bye to the fam, and took off for Sun Valley, Idaho. I didn't really have a plan or anything. I'd never been to Sun Valley besides just driving through on the way to other places, so I figured it was time to check it out. It was gorgeous there! Sunny and mild, great for me... not so great for all the skiers that were there for spring break. I found a little hotel right off the highway in Hailey (I'm pretty sure I was the only person staying there!) went to Albertsons to stock up on food for Sunday, and relaxed in the hot tub. The next morning I went to church in Hailey. The ward was so friendly, about four people came up to me hoping I was new to the ward. LOL! In Sunday School we talked about the pioneers, how they tried to sell their belongings before they made the long journey west to Salt Lake. Many were unsuccessful and ended up just leaving everything behind, having nothing but the clothes on their back, and in some instances not even those! It's hard to even imagine the sacrifices those early members of the church had to make! We talked about why those members were able to leave so much behind to venture out into the unknown, they had faith that God would take care of them because they were doing what God wanted them to do. As I sat there listening to the lesson I began to compare myself to those early saints. Not that I will be facing anything like they had to, but I too am venturing out into the unknown. You have no idea how hard the decision to leave Idaho Falls has been for me. I love it here! I love my job, I love being so close to my family, I love almost everything about this place! I feel like I'm crazy! But then again...I know it's the right thing to do. As I listened to the lesson a favorite scripture came to my mind, 3rd Nephi 13:30-34 - seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these thing shall be added unto you. Yes it is going to be so hard to leave everything behind, but I have faith that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, and because of that, things will work out in the end. This spring break was great! I certainly didn't do much, but it helped me remember why I do the crazy things I do sometimes.

March Makeover

Well I suppose it's time for another one of these. March....good month! My favorite in fact. Yes, my birthday month. Just turned 30 on March 9th! Wow! I really can't believe it. How can I be 30 years old? I still feel like I'm about 18 most of the time! Does that ever change? It was a good birthday, not much happened, but that is what I wanted. The first person to wish me happy birthday on my birthday was a kid from school, texted me early Monday morning. My sweet students! Wow, they have no idea how hard it's going to be for me to leave them! Besides working, the only thing I really did was get my hair colored and cut. After school I just decided I needed a change and went to the mall. I decided to go dark brown. A little scary, since my hair has never been dark, but...it turned out great! All the kids at school have been telling me they love it, so now I do too! I took a picture of myself to show my friend Shireen, it didn't turn out great since you can't see the cut too well, but you can see the color. I figured everyone is reading those Twilight books, so dark hair is in now, right? I don't know, you'll have to tell me what you think about it (but no comments on my extremely messy room!

Being single...

Well I really don't have anything in particular to write about. But I guess seeing that it's a Saturday night, and I don't have anything to do....
I was talking to one of the kids at school yesterday about relationships. He mentioned that he wanted a girlfriend so that he could have someone to tell everything to. I told him he was too young to want a serious relationship, he should just be trying to have fun and not worry about getting all settled down with one girl. I got the feeling that he felt that life would be better if he had a girlfriend to share it with. Anyways it got me to thinking about my own life. I have felt that same way a lot, but I couldn't offer this guy any good advice because I don't know if life would be better if there was someone else to share it with. I'm a little embarassed to admit it, but I've never had a boyfriend. It's not like I didn't/don't want a boyfriend, there just has never been anyone interested(that I know of at least.) I keep wondering if it's my personality, the way I act, or maybe the way I look (which is the reason I usually go with.) Whatever it is, here I am 29 years old, and still I have never even been kissed. When the kids at the high school I athletic train at ask me about my boyfriends, I tell them the truth, and they can't comprehend how I could go my whole life without a boyfriend. I guess it hasn't been too bad because I have never known anything different.
Here are a few observances I've made in my single state. 1. Guys are easy to talk to. I'm sure it's because I grew up in a family with six brothers and no sisters, but I can usually keep a conversation going with a guy because I know what they like to talk about (with exception of my Irish pen pal. Cathal, I'm gonna say it's because you're Irish ;o) 2. All the guys that I have made an effort to get to know have turned out to be good friends...period. Sometimes I think that the guy might be showing interest, and then....wham, they hit me with the, "you're a really great friend Jenn, do you think you can hook me up with so and so?" What is up with that? Is that the easy way for a guy to say, "Hey I see you're starting to like me a little bit, so I'm letting you know I'm not interested." 3. I'm really naive about relationships. I have no clue how to tell if a guy is interested in me or not. And I have no idea how I'm supposed to act if a guy does show interest. Do I change the way I act? All I know how to do is be a friend. Is that wrong? Am I supposed to do something else to let a guy know I'm interested? 4. I know that if I like a guy I turn into a total idiot when he's around. I say stupid things and start to blush when he looks at me too long. I know this has to be bad, how in the heck do you stop that?!
Anyways there you go. That's what you get when I have way too much time on my hands! Hopefully next time I'll think of something worthwhile to write about.

What's in a name?

My parents named me Jennifer. I am the only kid in my family that got more than a one syllable name (interesting fact.) Funny thing is I don't get called by that name very often. When I was younger, most everyone called me Jenni; my family, the people at church, the kids I went to school with, almost everyone. Once I left home to go to college, I wanted to put my younger self behind me, so I started to call myself Jennifer. Nobody knew me as Jenni anymore. As I got to know people at college, I became Jenn. After college I found a job as an athletic trainer at a high school. Again I introduced myself as Jennifer, but before too long, everyone started calling me Jenn. So I'm back here in my hometown working in a high school, but instead of calling me Jenni, everyone now calls me Jenn. I never really sat down and thought about it until today, when one of the kids at school called me Jenni. I don't know why, but it seemed so strange for him to call me Jenni. It felt like he was calling me "sweetie" or "honey" instead of Jenni. I don't know, I guess it's sort of hard to explain. It's been so long since I've been called Jenni and the people that called me that were the people that knew me better than anyone else. So now when someone calls me Jenni, it's like an endearing little nickname, almost too familiar for just anyone to call me. I suppose that's why it seemed so strange when this kid at school called me that. It must have shown on my face because he looked at me and said, "is that all right, if I call you Jenni or do you prefer Jenn?" So as I've been sitting here thinking about it, I've decided that yes, I like being called Jenni. Maybe it's because now that I'm actually getting older I want to feel younger:0), or maybe it's just because it makes me feel more loved. As a last little sidenote some people do call me Jennifer, funny that those people happen to be my very best friends!

A Christmas to Remember

So I wasn't really that excited to go to Puerto Rico for Christmas this year. My brother that is living here in Puerto Rico is moving back to Idaho in a week, and I didn't really know what to expect. All I knew is that there would be no snow, no sitting by the fire, no sledding, no big family gathering. I was worried that it wouldn't really feel like Christmas. Everyone told me I was crazy, who would give up two weeks of tropical beaches for an Idaho snow storm?! Well definitely not me, because here I am in Puerto Rico. Now I'm getting ready to head back to Idaho, back to snow and icy roads and I've been reflecting on my experiences here in Puerto Rico.
I am sad to be leaving, I mean I love going to the beach and seeing new places, and people and cultures. I've had a wonderful time here, but in truth I am happy to go back to Idaho too. The big question, did it feel like Christmas? Well being truthful, no it didn't. Christmas day seemed to pass like any other day here. We tried to do all the regular Christmas activites, but come on would you really feel like it's Christmas as you sat on a sandy tropical beach? I had fun, but no, it didn't feel like Christmas to me. I felt like we kinda skipped over Christmas. Sad, but I'm ok with that. I wouldn't have traded the experience for anything. We took a trip to Flemenco Beach yesterday on the island of Culebra. I found a quiet spot and just sat and watched the waves. The water was so blue, it reminded me of Hawaii. There were a lot of people there, but the beach was so huge I didn't feel crowed at all. It was so peaceful and beautiful, I wished that Idaho had a tropical island!
Anyways I have loved this trip and I'm so thankful I was able to come here to Puerto Rico. Unfortunatly now I'm ready to see more of the world!! I need more money!