Outta here!

Haha! I was just looking back through the old post and now I'm wishing I had a little longer here in Idaho Falls! I'll be headed to Oregon at the end of this week, and honestly I'm not feeling all that excited. All I can think about is how much I'm gonna miss everyone here! These past few months it's been great getting together with all my brothers and their families. Hanging out with Mark and Curt, playing with my nieces and nephews, long talks with the parents, relaxing and enjoying the summer, it really has been a pretty great summer.
We went up to Utah two days ago for my cousins wedding. It's a drive I have made probably a thousand times, but this time I made an effort to look around as we drove. Idaho is such a beautiful place...even the nothingness between Idaho Falls and Provo :) That is actually saying something considering all the places I have lived over the years. Hawaii, West Yellowstone Montana, Oregon, Utah....all beautiful places, yet I still keep ending up here in Idaho Falls. There is just so much that I love here! Not just the trees and the fields and the mountains, but the people!!
I was looking in the paper the other day and I saw that football practices start tomorrow for all the high schools. For like three seconds I thought to myself, "Wow I probably better go over to the school and get the training room ready for practices!" Then I remembered that I didn't have to do that, and then I got sad because someone else is going to be in my training room, taking care of my kids, doing my job that I loved!!! And then I started thinking about my nieces and nephews, and how much I'm going to be missing in their lives. And then I started thinking about the rest of my family, and how much I'll miss being with them. And then I took a step back and a deep breath, and tried to remember why I'm leaving. It's the right thing to do. I'm way too attached to things going on here, and I need to focus on becoming independent. It will be ok, it's not like I'm goin to Africa! Haha! I'm such a wuss! I guess I just have to face the facts and know that I'll probably be coming home a lot the first little while, or wishing I could be home!

Let's get on with it!

I went to Forest Grove a few weeks ago to check out my new school. Tiny town, but it is so beautiful there! Best part about it...probably the fact that Hillsboro is only like 9 miles away, Portland is only 30 minutes away, and the coast is not even an hour from the school! Oh and there are some extremely hot guys living there! Everyone at Pacific seemed sweet, though they don't have summer classes so there was pretty much nobody there. I talked to the athletic trainer at Pacific and it looks like I'll be working in the athletic training room. I'm actually really excited to be working with college athletes again. I'll let you figure out why on your own;) So all that said....wow, what a boring summer so far! Not only that but can it go any slower? I don't ever remember feeling this bored during the summer. I was happy to sit and do nothing, but for some reason this summer is different. Maybe it's because I feel ready to move on with the next part of my life, and so now I have no patience to sit and do nothing. I want to get out and meet people. Oh my heck I feel so stuck here in Idaho Falls where there is nothing to do and no one to see!!!!! Unfortunately I'm trying to save money for school so just takin off is totally out of the question. :( Why am I going back to school again? So I can be poor and stuck in one place for two or more years. Eww! No, I'm going back so I can get a better job someday. Well not necessarily better, just a better paying job. I'm going back so I can make some new friends(hopefully of the male variety) and try new things. This summer freakin sucks...I don't think I've ever looked forward to the start of school as much as I am now!

A new adventure

It is a gorgeous day today. I went outside and just walked around my parents house for about an hour. I love it here!

It's so quiet out here in Ucon...sitting here all I can hear are birds and the sprinklers running in the fields. It looks and smells like it's going to rain, but it's looked like that every afternoon this week. I love the peaceful solitude that my parents house has to offer, and it's all about to change. Lately all I can think about is how much I'm gonna miss everything here in Idaho. My friend Shireen told me that when you make a decision about something that you know is right, it seems like things start to go perfect, enough so that you question your decision to leave. That is exactly what has happened. As soon as I made the decision to leave Idaho it seems like there have been a million reasons pop up why I should stay. I had an amazing football and basketball season. I have finally gained the trust of my coaches and athletes. I've made some great friends (even though they are high school kids.) All my brothers move back to Idaho, Shireen moves back to Idaho...geez it feels like it's getting harder and harder to follow through with my original plan. Don't worry though, I'm still going...just not as readily as I was before. I know that I've gotten too comfortable here in Idaho. Things are too easy, I'm not living to my full potential, and I know I've got to leave. Mom says it's good to leave at the top of your game, because that's how everyone will remember me. Taylor, one of my students, told me that going off to college will be the best thing for me. I'll get to be with people my own age, going through the same things I'm going through. I have to just keep telling myself that. Good thing I have this amazing support system around me! I just hope that I can function without them when I'm all the way over in Portland!

A Tribute

I was sitting here on the computer putting grades in for my classes when I realized that it's May. May.... the last month of school. Waaahhh! I honestly can't believe that I am in the last month of being a high school teacher and athletic trainer for some of the best kids in the world! I wish I could explain to everyone why I'm having such a hard time leaving these kids behind! After I graduated from school and came back to Idaho I felt so lucky to get the job at Hillcrest and Bonneville High Schools. I wasn't even looking for it, and someone comes up to me and says, "Hey would you like to be an athletic trainer?" And here I am four years later. It was like a miracle to even get a job in my major right out of school. I keep wondering if I'm making the biggest mistake of my life by leaving it. So I've been trying to justify myself by coming up with reasons why it's time to leave such a wonderful thing. The past few weeks I've done a lot of soul searching and I'd like to share a thought.
I haven't always had the greatest self-esteem when it comes to guys. I mean you try competing with a super model best friend your whole life! (Though I wouldn't trade you for anything in this entire world Allison! I love you!) Going out on my own when I went off to school helped me to find myself, but still I always felt like guys never looked at me because... well because I wasn't gorgeous. I think because of that I never really tried to talk to any of the guys I was interested in. So I come back to Idaho Falls and I'm working hard and don't really have to worry about talking to guys because lets face it, there are no guys in Idaho Falls, but I start to get to know these high school kids. I'm not worried about what they'll think of me because they're just kids. I feel comfortable enough around them to be myself, and that's exactly what I have done for four years. And you know what? Something interesting happened. All of the sudden my sports medicine classes at Hillcrest started to fill up, and kids start coming to the athletic training room just to sit and talk to me about nothing in particular. Then parents would tell me at parent-teacher conferences that their daughter loves me more than any other teacher or that they thought their son might have a little bit of a crush on me. Haha! I'm still laughing about that but, WOW! Do you have any idea what that has done for my self-esteem?! All my life I've always been the one to sit and observe because I didn't think I had anything worthwhile to offer anyone. Then four years ago I start working as a high school teacher and in the end it has been them teaching me. It wasn't until I started to teach that I realized I might be a person worth getting to know, that someone might think their life was better just because I had been apart of it. That is such an amazing feeling!!
I want all of my students and athletes at Hillcrest and Bonneville to know how much I love them and appeciate them! Thank you so much for everything you have given me these past four years. It is because of you that I'm able to have the confidence to do something I had only ever dreamed of. You will never know just how much you've helped me! I can't begin to tell you how much I will miss you! You all have truly made me a better person.

Spring Break Revelation

I wanted to go to Portland for spring break this year. Not that Portland is the most exciting place in the world at spring break, but I'm starting to feel anxious about getting things started for the next chapter of my life. As it ended up I wasn't able to go. How boring to have to spend spring break at home doing nothing! So I took a road trip. Saturday afternoon I packed up my car, said bye to the fam, and took off for Sun Valley, Idaho. I didn't really have a plan or anything. I'd never been to Sun Valley besides just driving through on the way to other places, so I figured it was time to check it out. It was gorgeous there! Sunny and mild, great for me... not so great for all the skiers that were there for spring break. I found a little hotel right off the highway in Hailey (I'm pretty sure I was the only person staying there!) went to Albertsons to stock up on food for Sunday, and relaxed in the hot tub. The next morning I went to church in Hailey. The ward was so friendly, about four people came up to me hoping I was new to the ward. LOL! In Sunday School we talked about the pioneers, how they tried to sell their belongings before they made the long journey west to Salt Lake. Many were unsuccessful and ended up just leaving everything behind, having nothing but the clothes on their back, and in some instances not even those! It's hard to even imagine the sacrifices those early members of the church had to make! We talked about why those members were able to leave so much behind to venture out into the unknown, they had faith that God would take care of them because they were doing what God wanted them to do. As I sat there listening to the lesson I began to compare myself to those early saints. Not that I will be facing anything like they had to, but I too am venturing out into the unknown. You have no idea how hard the decision to leave Idaho Falls has been for me. I love it here! I love my job, I love being so close to my family, I love almost everything about this place! I feel like I'm crazy! But then again...I know it's the right thing to do. As I listened to the lesson a favorite scripture came to my mind, 3rd Nephi 13:30-34 - seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these thing shall be added unto you. Yes it is going to be so hard to leave everything behind, but I have faith that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, and because of that, things will work out in the end. This spring break was great! I certainly didn't do much, but it helped me remember why I do the crazy things I do sometimes.

March Makeover

Well I suppose it's time for another one of these. March....good month! My favorite in fact. Yes, my birthday month. Just turned 30 on March 9th! Wow! I really can't believe it. How can I be 30 years old? I still feel like I'm about 18 most of the time! Does that ever change? It was a good birthday, not much happened, but that is what I wanted. The first person to wish me happy birthday on my birthday was a kid from school, texted me early Monday morning. My sweet students! Wow, they have no idea how hard it's going to be for me to leave them! Besides working, the only thing I really did was get my hair colored and cut. After school I just decided I needed a change and went to the mall. I decided to go dark brown. A little scary, since my hair has never been dark, but...it turned out great! All the kids at school have been telling me they love it, so now I do too! I took a picture of myself to show my friend Shireen, it didn't turn out great since you can't see the cut too well, but you can see the color. I figured everyone is reading those Twilight books, so dark hair is in now, right? I don't know, you'll have to tell me what you think about it (but no comments on my extremely messy room!

Being single...

Well I really don't have anything in particular to write about. But I guess seeing that it's a Saturday night, and I don't have anything to do....
I was talking to one of the kids at school yesterday about relationships. He mentioned that he wanted a girlfriend so that he could have someone to tell everything to. I told him he was too young to want a serious relationship, he should just be trying to have fun and not worry about getting all settled down with one girl. I got the feeling that he felt that life would be better if he had a girlfriend to share it with. Anyways it got me to thinking about my own life. I have felt that same way a lot, but I couldn't offer this guy any good advice because I don't know if life would be better if there was someone else to share it with. I'm a little embarassed to admit it, but I've never had a boyfriend. It's not like I didn't/don't want a boyfriend, there just has never been anyone interested(that I know of at least.) I keep wondering if it's my personality, the way I act, or maybe the way I look (which is the reason I usually go with.) Whatever it is, here I am 29 years old, and still I have never even been kissed. When the kids at the high school I athletic train at ask me about my boyfriends, I tell them the truth, and they can't comprehend how I could go my whole life without a boyfriend. I guess it hasn't been too bad because I have never known anything different.
Here are a few observances I've made in my single state. 1. Guys are easy to talk to. I'm sure it's because I grew up in a family with six brothers and no sisters, but I can usually keep a conversation going with a guy because I know what they like to talk about (with exception of my Irish pen pal. Cathal, I'm gonna say it's because you're Irish ;o) 2. All the guys that I have made an effort to get to know have turned out to be good friends...period. Sometimes I think that the guy might be showing interest, and then....wham, they hit me with the, "you're a really great friend Jenn, do you think you can hook me up with so and so?" What is up with that? Is that the easy way for a guy to say, "Hey I see you're starting to like me a little bit, so I'm letting you know I'm not interested." 3. I'm really naive about relationships. I have no clue how to tell if a guy is interested in me or not. And I have no idea how I'm supposed to act if a guy does show interest. Do I change the way I act? All I know how to do is be a friend. Is that wrong? Am I supposed to do something else to let a guy know I'm interested? 4. I know that if I like a guy I turn into a total idiot when he's around. I say stupid things and start to blush when he looks at me too long. I know this has to be bad, how in the heck do you stop that?!
Anyways there you go. That's what you get when I have way too much time on my hands! Hopefully next time I'll think of something worthwhile to write about.